The step son has now managed to get his GED. But now to get a job and support his family not his family supporting his family.
I actually thought being a step mom would get easier as they got older and moved out, apparently I was wrong.
My husband and I are weighing the pros and cons of totally up rooting and moving out of state. I honestly think it would be the best thing for he and I, but it wouldn't be too great for my children I don't think but then again it might be better. Who knows?
It is either we do it now or wait 6 years. But then again within the 6 years we are going to be constantly the ones always letting the kids move in and out and totally disrupt our lives over and over again because his children can't and wont grow up because they don't have to. They aren't forced to here, mom and dad always rescue them or always bail them out of life. That isn't fair to them or me.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
organizing a household
The Nuthut as I fondly call it; is about to get a makeover in organization and I'm delagating.
Its 10:30am Saturday morning and no one besides me has gotten up with the baby. This morning we got up and ate breakfast, her with her bananas, apples and strawberries with rice cereal and I with my morning coffee. Baby Aurora (8 months old) between bites has been telling me of her travels of the previous day. Its mornings like this that remind me when my kids were little and the mornings we shared that I thought then would last forever. They don't! You blink and they are gone in an instant. Yes, quite like Aurora's parents I took them for granted although I never slept through them.........
Today, is going to be the day my husband and I inform her parents ( my husbands son and his girlfriend) of our expectations of them while they are staying here getting on their feet. This will also be the time where I find out why child support people are comming after my step son if they are all living together. I got lots of questions and I better be getting some ansewers.
In this relationship my husband the big lug that he is, is the enabler. I am the hard straight and narrow one. So as you can imagine there are lots of arguements over the kids on both sides.
As of right now his son and baby and girlfriend staying on our couch is starting to effect my children and their outlook on life. So change is going to have to happen for all concerned.
Wish me luck
Its 10:30am Saturday morning and no one besides me has gotten up with the baby. This morning we got up and ate breakfast, her with her bananas, apples and strawberries with rice cereal and I with my morning coffee. Baby Aurora (8 months old) between bites has been telling me of her travels of the previous day. Its mornings like this that remind me when my kids were little and the mornings we shared that I thought then would last forever. They don't! You blink and they are gone in an instant. Yes, quite like Aurora's parents I took them for granted although I never slept through them.........
Today, is going to be the day my husband and I inform her parents ( my husbands son and his girlfriend) of our expectations of them while they are staying here getting on their feet. This will also be the time where I find out why child support people are comming after my step son if they are all living together. I got lots of questions and I better be getting some ansewers.
In this relationship my husband the big lug that he is, is the enabler. I am the hard straight and narrow one. So as you can imagine there are lots of arguements over the kids on both sides.
As of right now his son and baby and girlfriend staying on our couch is starting to effect my children and their outlook on life. So change is going to have to happen for all concerned.
Wish me luck
Friday, April 9, 2010
the begining
I am sure that when you meet Mr. Right you dont expect him to have 2 boys and an over bearing mother. And once you fall in love with him there isn't much you can do after that.
I met my husband 10 years ago at work ( yes BIG no no). He was married to another woman when we met as well. He left that woman and then started our relationship.
He is 10 years older than I am and he has 2 boys from a previous marriage. I have 2 children as well 1 boy and 1 girl. At present his boys are 26 and as of April 30th the other will be 22. My children are 16 year old boy and 12 year old girl.
The 26 year old has some learning and social delays and a year and a half ago his girlfriend lost a baby boy due to neglect but was ruled accidental. The 22 year old and his girl friend 19 have a beautiful baby girl 8 months old.
Up to this point our lives haven't been smooth and easy going as I presumed it would be. Being a step-parent isn't an easy thing to be by any means. I honestly thought it would be hard but I never dreamt that it would be like this.
The boys have a mother who has bi-polar disorder. She also has the inablity to let my husband go. So up until a year ago 2 o'clock in the morning visits or phone calls were not unheard of. It has always been over revisiting the past or something the boys had done or hadn't done, or something made up I may have done. Either way a year ago.........we finally got a restraining order. That has been my saving grace. I have never had so much peace of mind in my life. I call this woman the hand that rocks the cradle lady. I am sure that some day I am going to wake up with her standing over me. It has been hard on the boys because she uses them against my husband who had never even now said one bad word about her to them. They are grown as far as I am concerned. But because of these circumstances I find myself here......
The youngest boy is staying with us on our couch because we only have three bedrooms and at present counting the girlfriend and baby we have 7 people living here. Yes I said 7! Its over crowded and my kids hate that we always have to bail out these boys because they never learned to job hunt or even bother to get an education( not that I didn't attempt to help them with that).
My husband feels guilty for the lives these boys had but he is part of the problem in the first place. He just gave them whatever and never made them accountable for their actions not taught them how to be men. So now here we are April 9th 2010 and the youngest boy has a job through the temp agency ( which is a start) he has to work for Im not sure how long til they can qualify for low-income housing. Support enforcment is looking to locate him and where he works because I have the sinking susprision that the girlfriend isn't claiming they live together.
On the other hand I have a 16 year old boy who just got his license and is in the last quarter of his sophmore year in high school and is looking for a way to pay for his own car insurance. The 12 year old daughter is the spitting image of me and fights me every step of the way but they both are good kids stay out of trouble and are on the honor roll.
I am writting this blog in hopes this might help someone else that has step children as well as their own get through the madness.
I met my husband 10 years ago at work ( yes BIG no no). He was married to another woman when we met as well. He left that woman and then started our relationship.
He is 10 years older than I am and he has 2 boys from a previous marriage. I have 2 children as well 1 boy and 1 girl. At present his boys are 26 and as of April 30th the other will be 22. My children are 16 year old boy and 12 year old girl.
The 26 year old has some learning and social delays and a year and a half ago his girlfriend lost a baby boy due to neglect but was ruled accidental. The 22 year old and his girl friend 19 have a beautiful baby girl 8 months old.
Up to this point our lives haven't been smooth and easy going as I presumed it would be. Being a step-parent isn't an easy thing to be by any means. I honestly thought it would be hard but I never dreamt that it would be like this.
The boys have a mother who has bi-polar disorder. She also has the inablity to let my husband go. So up until a year ago 2 o'clock in the morning visits or phone calls were not unheard of. It has always been over revisiting the past or something the boys had done or hadn't done, or something made up I may have done. Either way a year ago.........we finally got a restraining order. That has been my saving grace. I have never had so much peace of mind in my life. I call this woman the hand that rocks the cradle lady. I am sure that some day I am going to wake up with her standing over me. It has been hard on the boys because she uses them against my husband who had never even now said one bad word about her to them. They are grown as far as I am concerned. But because of these circumstances I find myself here......
The youngest boy is staying with us on our couch because we only have three bedrooms and at present counting the girlfriend and baby we have 7 people living here. Yes I said 7! Its over crowded and my kids hate that we always have to bail out these boys because they never learned to job hunt or even bother to get an education( not that I didn't attempt to help them with that).
My husband feels guilty for the lives these boys had but he is part of the problem in the first place. He just gave them whatever and never made them accountable for their actions not taught them how to be men. So now here we are April 9th 2010 and the youngest boy has a job through the temp agency ( which is a start) he has to work for Im not sure how long til they can qualify for low-income housing. Support enforcment is looking to locate him and where he works because I have the sinking susprision that the girlfriend isn't claiming they live together.
On the other hand I have a 16 year old boy who just got his license and is in the last quarter of his sophmore year in high school and is looking for a way to pay for his own car insurance. The 12 year old daughter is the spitting image of me and fights me every step of the way but they both are good kids stay out of trouble and are on the honor roll.
I am writting this blog in hopes this might help someone else that has step children as well as their own get through the madness.
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